Lee Rader’s Valentine’s Day poetry is genius

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I wasn’t planning on doing a Valentine’s Day post. What do you need my commentary for when all of your friends are using social media to make unprovoked, long-winded proclamations about why they feel hostility or indifferent about the holiday?

But then I saw Lee Rader’s “roses are red” tweets and felt it imperative to share them. Like most things I enjoy, they are honest, dark, and filled with profanity so read at your own risk. I asked her to describe herself in a short blurb and she said, “Lee Rader is a sarcastic jerk who splits her time bothering the people of Brooklyn, New York and Portland, Maine.” So there is a taste of what is to come. And these aren’t all of them. Be sure to check in on Rader’s Twitter profile and keep up with her shenanigans there.

PHOTO CREDIT: The legendary Rick Dalton made that magic.

roses are red, violets are blue. bro you manscape? jesus christ, eew.

roses are red, violets are blue. the boys will do me while you do you.

roses are red, aww fucking heck. can not explain these marks on my neck.

roses are red, valentine’s day is phony. in the words of ginuine, “ride it, my pony”.

roses are red, violets are blue. let’s make a mistake, fuck it let’s make two.

roses are red, daisies are white. don’t get it it my hair & we’ll be alright.

roses are red, violets are blue. i’m not honest about my feelings, & neither are you.

roses are red, sidewalk is stone. got a thing for musicians who wear rag & bone.

roses are red, violets are blue. i’m really alone, but i’ll still order two.

roses are red, violets are blue. hi i’m chris hansen from “dateline NBC” have a seat.

roses are red, violets are blue. by the time we’re done, my ass will be those colors too.

roses are red, tulips are pink. you want me to do what? it’s time to drink.

roses are red, violets are blue. sneaking out of your house, i can’t find my shoe.

roses are red, violets are blue. wouldn’t with him, probably would with you.

roses are red, violets are SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT. UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT. UP. SHUUUUUUUUUUT UP.

These aren’t all of them. Be sure to check out Rader on Twitter immediately.

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Alex Steed

About Alex Steed

Alex Steed has written about and engaged in politics since he was an insufferable teenager. He has run for the Statehouse and produced a successful web series. He now runs a content firm called Knack Factory with two guys who are a lot more talented than himself.