Overheard in Hollywood


I spent last week in Los Angeles (largely West Hollywood) and overheard so much gold (including a couple of celebrity contributions) I had to share:

“You know Bruce? The homeless guy? I saw him driving a Mercedes the other day.”

— one 7-Eleven employee to another

“All I drink is tap water.”

— Larry David to woman near Runyon Canyon

“Some people are really fantastic and some people are really…”

— restaurant patron

“I know it bums some people out it or whatever but it makes me really, really happy when somebody says that they like my band.”

— pedestrian on Hollywood Boulevard

“I do elliptical and yoga every day and I drink a shitload of green juice.”

— Russell Simmons to female hiking companion on Runyon Canyon

“Just when you think it isn’t going to happen, you see Russell Simmons hiking and talking about drinking a shitload of green juice.”

— one hiker to another immediately after seeing Russell Simmons talking about drinking a shitload of green juice

“Can I get a taste of the brown? It’s pretty brown.”

— restaurant patron to bartender

“I’m sick and tired if buying coffee. It’s like a waste of 8 dollars?”

— one guy wearing a Smiths t-shirt to another

“You want me to do what? I just met you.”

— woman to man, both exiting Cabo Cantina

“Why’d you say vagina?”
“I said San Francisco Giants.”

— little girl to father and father’s response

“I don’t know but I stuffed another big rug down there.”

— Runyon Canyon hiker

“She literally said the next day, ‘my boobs have never been more sore.'”

— one female hiker to another

Alex Steed

About Alex Steed

Alex Steed has written about and engaged in politics since he was an insufferable teenager. He has run for the Statehouse and produced a successful web series. He now runs a content firm called Knack Factory with two guys who are a lot more talented than himself.