An inventory of quasi-noteworthy Portland-focused Internet mentions from the past handful of days.

Top 11 lines from Portland Missed Connections:

• I’ve been thinking about my orgasm at the restaurant and you telling me to let you drive home. [LINK]
• You look like a lot of fun and a little sneaky. [LINK]
• I love you, Sweetie, but it feels like Dame Fortuna has other plans for us – throwing all this miscommunication in our way like a big shit storm of existentialism. [LINK]
• Please let me take you out for a smoothie! [LINK]
• My number one goal is to not care what people think. [LINK]
• You are tall and thin and play pool. I am an old geezer who’s bought you a few drinks. [LINK]
• You have no freaking clue how to smoke a cigarette, but you are smoking hot. Perhaps we can find a better way to start a fire? [LINK]
• You’re probably a little too young for me, not in a cougar way, just in a I’m nearing my mid twenties and you maybe just graduated high school?’ way. [LINK]
• It would be an honor just to be the dirt on the bottom of your feet. [LINK]
• We watched porn while you went down on me… then you gave me a little “gas money” and said it turned you on to know I was getting paid. [LINK]
• I saw your bluegrass ass and I wanted to tap ‘dat [LINK]

Top 7 Instagram photos tagged #PortlandMaine:

Our fair as presented to an imaginary corporate board by a suave, magical pitchman and/or ghost:

Sebastian Bach was at the Asylum this month. Really. Here he is singing “I Remember You”:

And here is the Vampire Lezbos playing in town 21 years ago:

Even more ephemera:

• Resting Roost spends a day in Portland / contemplating our status as “the other” Portland
• We are known for our coffee shops, apparently
• Gary Dzen wrote about Portland breweries for the Boston Globe
• With the aid of 15 pictures of herself dressed like an adult-ish Ramona Quimby (and one photo of the person in the process of photographing her), Ashley describes a day in Portland.

INSTAGRAM CREDITS: weaponcraft, hankry, dmmillay, selancaster14, acoraborealis, hartofmaine, sarahbekah