15 “People You May Know”

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As I am already “connected” with 1,700 folks on Facebook—this includes everyone from my mother to people I went to school with during the year I went to school in Massachusetts 19 years back—there aren’t a whole lot more people I can connect with. Facebook is bummed about this, of course, because the more people we connect with and the more interactions we have, the bigger the audience (and swath of user data) they have to augment their advertising services with. And so Facebook keeps trying to lure me in by making some “friend recommendations.”

  • People You May Know: Bassist In Sublime Cover Band Who Was Also the Head Of Your Condo Association and Your Pot Dealer
  • People You May Know: One Of The 3 Mistys You Went to High School With
  • People You May Know: Guy Who Is Surprisingly Racist For Someone Who Volunteers Full Time at a Community Radio Station
  • People You May Know: Gatekeeper of Bridge You Hastily Burned
  • People You May Know: Former Record Store Crush Who is a Little Older Than You Are But Has Aged Way Better Than You Have
  • People You May Know: Busty Blonde Girl in Tiny Bikini Spam Bot Avatar From Whom Your Four Dumbest Friends Have Accepted Friend Requests
  • People You May Know: Cocky Prick from High School Who, To Your Sadistic Relief, Looks Pretty Miserable These Days
  • People You May Know: Former Coal Chamber Fanatic Who Appears to Have Recently Gotten a Very Prominent Neck Tattoo
  • People You May Know: Guy Wearing Aviators Riding a Penny Farthing
  • People You May Know: Smarmy Dave
  • People You May Know: 9/11 Truther Everyone Still Talks To For Some Reason
  • People You May Know: Anti-Semitic Cigar Enthusiast / Gym Teacher
  • People You May Know: That Cousin You Could Have Sworn Died Years Ago
  • People You May Know: Slut-Shaming Stay-at-Home Mom
  • People You May Know: 30-Year-Old Former Classmate Desperately Trying to Look 21-years-old
Alex Steed

About Alex Steed

Alex Steed has written about and engaged in politics since he was an insufferable teenager. He has run for the Statehouse and produced a successful web series. He now runs a content firm called Knack Factory with two guys who are a lot more talented than himself.