Donald Trump is coming to Portland tomorrow and so us savvy bloggers likely try to use this opportunity to earn some quick and easy traffic for our blogs.
For my part, I have considered using this opportunity to write something polarizing about the candidate and his stances (or, more specifically, his lack thereof). This really fires people up. Those who agree with what I present will feel validated and so they will share the post on social media and people who fervently disagree will engage as a means of contesting my points. This tried and true approach is almost always a winner in the traffic generation department.
I have also considered writing a piece about all of the things I would rather do than to attend this Trump Rally. I might make local references to how I’d rather be personally serenaded by the Whistler or lick the glistening chests of the perpetually shirtless dudes on Congress St. I could even say that I’d rather eat off the floor at Geno’s. The folks at Geno’s might even share it on their Facebook page and write something like, “Hey! Our floors aren’t that dirty!” and so that would compound traffic gains. It would all be in good fun, have a lot of local flavor and maintain that popular anti-Tump vibe.
Perhaps I could even mix a pithy description of Trump’s awfulness with how terrible it is that the Foo Fighters appear to be breaking up. Like, “First Trump announces that he’s coming to Maine and then the Foo Fighters break up? This is a horrible week!” But then I’d clarify that I’m just kidding because 21 years of the Foo Fighters was way more than anyone could or should ever ask for. That would really get a good debate going in the comments because people take their feelings about bands incredibly seriously and they feel compelled to debate about these things on the Internet for hours on end.
I’m not yet sure which approach I’ll pursue, but whichever one it ends up being I will likely be on the receiving end of an enviable amount of traffic here on the blog thanks to a visit by this reckless and terrible human being.
Either way, I hope that Imperial Grand Trump has a miserable time here in Portland.
NOTE: Were I scheduled to be in town tomorrow, I would join in this protest against his arrival.